I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
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