He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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