i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
that is very illegal...i love you.
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