But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Randomize
