Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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