shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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