By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
