She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
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