I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Randomize
