I think i sorta joined a cult last night
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
my dad came in to wish me a happy birthday and found me passed out in my underwear with the lights on and a plate of meat on the bed. i bet he was proud to have contributed to my creation in that moment.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
They have beer where we have blood.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
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