Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Randomize
