If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
Randomize
