you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
Randomize
