if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
no. you can't hotbox the world.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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