Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
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