Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
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