i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
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