why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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