Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
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my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
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She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
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