Swine flu. Run for my life!
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
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