Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
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