At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize