Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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