I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
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