I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
