yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
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She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
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I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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