so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
I can't put those talents on a resume
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize