Don't you send me to vm
Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
