did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Randomize
