East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
