he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
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