So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
