I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Randomize
