I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Randomize
