question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
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