I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
