the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Randomize
