we need to drink 2009 down the drain
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
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