I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
her facebook's as public as her vagina
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
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