I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
