well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
