and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Randomize
