Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
