go do what you do best...puke behind churches
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
