i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize
