Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
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