Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
Sext me about skeletons
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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