We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
