I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
