he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Randomize
