He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
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i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
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