If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
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