Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Randomize
