I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
I can text with my tongue
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
