Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
be right there i have to get my cape
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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