Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
we're chasing vodka with high fives
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
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