I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
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Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
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I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
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