jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
My pussy is not your playground.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
Randomize
