Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
