i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm