I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
Randomize
