great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Damn victory sex feels great
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
