community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize