Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
We named our party play list daddy issues
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
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