I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
