I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
Randomize
