Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
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Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
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Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
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