Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Randomize
