i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Randomize
