The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
Randomize
