she was so not down for the gang bang
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
Randomize
