I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
