Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
